he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
