I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
