Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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