Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
