Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
