my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
