i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
