I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
