Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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