were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
tequila makes me forget i have legs
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
