Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
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I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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