apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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