So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
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Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
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Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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