your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize