the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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