I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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