I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
