Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize