Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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