i already hear my dad disowning me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
