barbara walters just said penis...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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