my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
