i may or may not be watching the land before time
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
