i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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