Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
