she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
