At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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