its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
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Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's never too late to be topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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