Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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