I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I love having hate sex.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
