this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Every concussion has its silver lining
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
