I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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