He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
