from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
