Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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