All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
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My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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