no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
