I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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