you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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