it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
