Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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