she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
