i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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