He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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