U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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