just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
There are leaves in my underwear?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
