we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
