Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
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She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
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I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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