Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
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Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
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She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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