I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
