AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
