i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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