I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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