i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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