is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
