ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
