By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
