the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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