I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
This toilet bowl is my home.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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