Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize